


Only the Beginning

by darcenator



Series: A Matter of Time [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, M/M, Prologue, Time Traveler's Wife AU that no one asked for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-07-14 04:16:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7153127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darcenator/pseuds/darcenator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"We can be quiet together, and pretend- since it is only the beginning- that we have all the time in the world."</i>
  <br/>
  <i>"And every day we shall have less. And then none."</i>
  <br/>
  <i>"Would you rather, therefore, have had nothing at all?"</i>
</p><p> </p><p>A.S. Byatt, Possession<br/>___</p><p>Or, five times that Alec time travels to Magnus Bane and the one time he didn't have to.</p><p>A Prologue to A Matter of Time</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

 

**MAGNUS**

 

Love warps time differently from person to person.

With his first love, time was on fast-forward, passionate and hurried, as though life blurred past them. Imasu had the ability to make time slow down and make each beat full of emotion and vitality, as though music thickened the air enough to move through molasses. When Magnus danced with Etta, time was nostalgic and every memory was golden and dreamlike. With one snap, Camille had the power to pause time, bodies frozen in place like statues, as though they moved through a museum and they were the curators. It was manipulated immortality and it felt god-like. Until one day, Camille was gone and Magnus snapped back into reality.

And then there was Alec.

Alexander Gideon Lightwood, the one constant in his long, arduous life that managed to make time feel so… present. The only problem was that he was never really _present_. Magnus may be a powerful warlock, but the existence of Alexander, from the moment he would appear from thin air, was pure magic. As a time traveler, Alec visited him in different eras of his life and yet time itself never distorted. Time obeyed in his presence. When he would eventually vanish back to his present, Magnus would discover new interests, spells, and pleasures in his absence until the next time they meet and time fixes itself again.

The ultimate curse of immortality: being left behind.

It’s hard being left behind.

 

* * *

 

 

**ALEC**

 

 _Sed lex, dura lex_. The law is hard, but it is the law.

Mandated by the Clave, the Accords maintain order amongst those in the shadow world and protects the mundane world from discovering it. There are codes of conduct, rights, and rules to abide by in order to keep the peace between the Clave, Downworlders, and mundanes. Follow orders, remember the training, and obey the basic moral code. That is the life of a shadowhunter.

No one has ever had to tell Alec what guidelines to follow when it comes to time travel. What would they know? They don’t know what it feels like to stand in the middle of Ops one moment and then feel snow beneath their stark naked body in the middle of Central Park in 1997. Or what to do in the following moments that would reduce the risk of a mundane calling the police or confronting a demon with no stele, weapons, or phone on hand. Fuck having to explain anything because it wastes time and the last thing he wants is to cause more attention to the shadow world. The best chance of survival usually involves lying, stealing, and hiding. Break noses and accept the consequences? Sure, but by the angel, not like this. He hates this side of him, the inverted part of him that is desperate, vulnerable, and a goddamn spectacle. Yeah, how would anyone know how that feels.

Izzy once asked if it felt like traveling through a portal. No fucking way.

What does it feel like? Time travel feels like shit. It’s… it’s all the blood rushing to the head, ears ringing and euphoria, tingling sensations from the limbs to the spine replaced by extreme nausea and vertigo. It’s grabbing hold on to whatever is nearby with hands that are no longer there. In an instant, it feels like carpet pulled from right underneath. It’s dislocation, physically and mentally. It’s “Who’s blood is that?” and praying that it’s something iratzes can fix. And other times, it’s waking up in a hospital with a policeman demanding identification because time travel means not having a fucking wallet. Why bother telling them? It’s so easy to distract mundanes long enough to vanish back to the present. In those rare cases, the piercing migraine and phantom sensations feel like a godsend, followed up by Jace swearing his ringing ears off when his body reappears. Even when time separates them, their parabatai rune can still be activated. So yeah, time travel can be a pain.

He doesn’t travel every day, but the work never stops as a shadowhunter. There’s always a demon to fight, a downworlder to track, or a report to write and in between, Alec would either be at target practice or training until his body gave out. Down time comes so few, but he secretly enjoys the homely aspects of it, such as Izzy’s head resting on his shoulder when he’s been gone for days, Max’s fire messages scattered all over his room, Clary leaving a small plate of food on top of a book on his bedside table, and Jace’s voicemails when he’s at Magnus’ loft.

And Magnus. Everything Magnus. Magnus at 2am, waiting for him half asleep with a lazy smile. Magnus’ hands when they dance while he speaks. The way his features soften when he recalls a distant memory, but doesn’t say aloud. The lip mark on a glass left unattended while they were wrapped in each other’s embrace. Magnus’ soft skin below his abdomen in between Alec’s teeth. Magnus’ low voice in his ear. The color of his cat eyes when he says “Alexander.” Just… Magnus. It’s agony being anywhere Magnus is not. Being immortal means having been abandoned by loved ones more times than he deserved and yet he would still choose Alec. 

 

Time travel is cruel that way. Always going where Magnus can’t follow.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Come say hi on tumblr](http://ridleysrey.tumblr.com) if you have made it this far.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	2. One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec is 25, Magnus is not

 

_Inhale. Exhale._

_Inhale. Exhale._

 

Alec glares at his tall frame in the mirror while he fidgets with the buttons on his shirt. _Stupid_ , he thinks to himself. Stupid to think that it would be a great idea to wear the same blue shirt he wore when he first met Magnus. Stupid to realize that perhaps it looks too casual for dinner. Maybe he should leave the sleeves rolled down. Is it a waste of time to worry about things like this? 

A waste of time. _Pfft_.

_Deep breaths, Alec. Inhale. Exhale._

The more he messes with the shirt, the more he wonders if he should iron it again. His mind grows too frantic to notice Izzy leaning against his doorframe, smiling.

“You look nice,” she muses.

“Yeah… uh, thanks.” Alec doesn't realize he stopped breathing until Izzy walks over to him and turns him around by the shoulders. In that moment, Alec looks at her concerned face and watchs as she audibly breathes in and out.

_Inhale. Exhale._

After he lets out a big sigh, Izzy lets go of his frame and gives him a reassuring smile. “Remember, it’s just dinner.”

Alec nods, his lips forming a hard line. The absence of Jace in that moment immediately fills the room as though they waited for a finished thought, a snide comment to lighten the mood or reassurance that a date is just a date. He can tell that both Izzy and Clary have been careful to not press him about the details of his date, afraid that the stress would make him travel. After weeks of tracking Jace with no success, the girls grew tiresome of Alec pining at his phone and making excuses about Valentine and his army. They know how to handle one night without Alec and he deserves to enjoy it with Magnus, uninterrupted. _It’s just dinner_ , Alec tells himself, over and over again until he believes it. In less than an hour, he will be on a real date with Magnus Bane and the genuine excitement has his heart racing.

Izzy turns to leave when she quips over her shoulder, “Stop by my room if you want to bring a condom!” Aha, there it is. The quintessential sex joke that he’s been waiting for all week. As he opens his mouth to retort, a wave of pain from the crown of his head knocks him off his senses. He begins to grind his teeth and squeezes his eyes shut to endure the pain.

She makes it a few steps outside of Alec’s room before she grasps the deafening silence. Did he take the joke the wrong way? Izzy half expects to hear at least a groan or something from Alec, but it's too quiet.

Oh god! She rushes back to his room to find his pile of clothes in front of the mirror.

 

Alec has gone.

 

* * *

 

 

The first thing he noticed when he arrived was the feeling of warmth.

It wasn’t exactly heat that he felt but contentment, as if he had found a ray of light. His headache quickly subsided and the ringing was a low buzz, which was… wow. Was he really going to make it through this trip pain-free? He arrived upright, which would have been a horrible way to appear if he were in New York, his bare frame exposed for mundanes to see, but he knew it was too peaceful to be home.

Home. _Shit_. Whose home was this?

He stood in the middle of a narrow hallway of a house he didn't recall visiting. Alec waited few minutes to ensure he wasn’t going to travel back before he quietly strolled towards the common area. The dark, ornate tile floor stretched from the entryway out to three evenly spaced balconies to his left, curtains open to the courtyard overlooking a stretch of unfamiliar land. Every inch of his surroundings had a touch of afternoon glow as light filtered in.

Across the room, a blanket, draped over a chair, caught his eye and he hastily snatched it and wrapped it over his body. The common area wasn’t exactly tidy, but the mess left a sense of charm in its chaos. Drinking glasses dispersed on every surface, books piled up against the far wall, and… huh. Alec noticed a cauldron atop a side table with papers tucked underneath a bowl. Raziel, did he just travel to a warlock’s-

“Alexander?”

 

 _Oh_. **_Fuck_**.

 

Alec froze, his back towards the all too familiar voice, the enticing voice that he’d been melting over so many phone calls the last few days. The tone of awe he always carried when he said his name never ceased to make his heart skip a beat. It was intoxicating. Alec hadn’t realized his eyes were closed until he heard footsteps stop beside him.

He finally brought himself to open his eyes and, by the angel, he would never forget how beautiful Magnus was in that moment, standing inches away from him. It was like receiving his bow and quiver for the first time all over again. It felt like Christmas morning. The deep breath of triumph after living a full day travel-free, all at once. His hair was disheveled, sans makeup, and he donned a loose, wine-colored robe. Magnus was breathtaking.

“Hi,” Alec exhaled, as though the word was trapped in his lungs and finally escaped.

“Hello to you, too, Alexander. What occasion are we celebrating today?” Magnus asked.

“I- wh- Um. Occasion?” Alec sputtered out.

“You shaved.” Magnus doesn’t continue, as though that expression meant something between them. Alec shaved every day, but pointing it out so matter-of-factly made this conversation feel unbalanced. Magnus sensed the confusion on Alec’s face and something clicked in his head. “Alec, is there something wrong?” 

Wrong? Wrong is not quite how Alec would describe what was happening. _You shaved_ , Magnus said knowingly to him. Did that mean he’d seen him with a scruff? Or a beard? Or… _oh_. Of course, Magnus has "seen" him before. Future Alec gave up on shaving daily, except for special occasions, apparently, and he has visited Magnus more than enough times for it to not be a coincidence. How could he forget that Magnus knew a future him? Alec was finally grasping the magnitude of what this was.

“This is my first visit. I mean, my first travel. To you.” Alec, as tall as he was, shrunk himself into the blanket, tugging it closer to his body.

Magnus’ expression was a mix between surprise and apprehension as his mouth formed a small ‘o’. In some ways, he still appeared to be the same age as present day Magnus, but the way his eyes lit up had the most youthful, joyful sparkle to them. Without breaking eye contact, Magnus snapped his fingers and two half-filled drinking glasses appeared in his hands. 

“Well, then! That is something to celebrate.” Magnus offered a glass to Alec. After the other accepted, Magnus raised his glass. “To you, Alexander.”

Just as they brought the glasses to their lips, Magnus chimed, “Welcome to 18th century Peru.”

Alec choked into the glass. _Fuck_.

This is… how is this possible? How could he travel so far past his own timeline? The furthest he has traveled back to was when he was still in his mother’s womb, but even then it was a comfort to know Alec was alive somewhere. But, _the 1700’s_. **_Peru_**. Other than Idris, he had never been outside of the US before. Was it legal for him to stand in another country? In fucking 18 th century Peru? The room was beginning to spin and Alec backed himself into the chair, where the blanket once was. Magnus took the glass from Alec’s hand and placed the drink down on the floor next to Alec, kneeling down in front of him.

“You know, you told me on your last visit that I had to take it easy on you. Are you feeling alright?” Magnus grabbed the fabric where Alec’s hands rested. “I’m sorry.”

 _Unbelievable_ , Alec thought to himself. He had no control over his ability, showing up uninvited in an era far beyond his present and MAGNUS was apologizing to him. His family, including Jace, were who Alec traveled to most and they've been considerate and accommodating because that was ingrained into their dynamic. Now, kneeling before him in the midst of… all this, Magnus was being thoughtful and composed and all on his very first visit. It’s not something Alec is used to yet, but he could get used to this. Or already has.

“This is just-“

“-I know.” Magnus squeezed his hand.

Looking out the balcony to the foreign lands beyond the courtyard, Alec fully allowed himself to accept that this was a reality he's going to relive again and again. He will eventually have to leave, but their time together has been one of the best experiences, as of late. This was… easy.

“Alexander?” Magnus nudged at his hand to get his attention. “Before you disappear on me, I have to ask. In your present,” he paused for effect, “do I have crow’s feet?”

There was that feeling again, the radiance he felt the moment he appeared. Alec happily sighed and looked down at Magnus, letting the tingling sensations spread from his core to the tips of his fingers.

In a blink of an eye, Alec was back in his room, body faced down in front of the mirror and still wearing the same smile, as though he was waking from a dream. As he picked himself off the floor, he was touched to find his clothes laid out on his bed, shirt ironed and pants folded neatly.

Alec was ten minutes late to the restaurant, but the nerves were no longer present. The conversation flowed, the food was fantastic, and everything was radiant. Because this wasn’t just dinner.

 

This was the beginning of a future with Magnus and Alec couldn’t wait to see him again.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the wonderful comments and kudos!


	3. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus is 8, Alec is not

When he was eight years old, Magnus went by a different name. His parents found out about his true heritage and felt that he no longer deserved his given name. His father would call him foul, cruel things while his mother stood by in silence. Magnus woke up each day and hoped that by sheer luck and ruthless obedience, his father would call him by his real name, even if the light tone of endearment was gone.

Of all the names that were thrown around, there was one that Magnus carried with him.

Raksasa. _Monster_. His father solely called him that after his mother’s death.

 

* * *

 

 

Dawn was breaking when his father dragged him off the floor of the dark room he locked him in and ordered the child to wash their clothes at the river. The young one protested that the infested waters would not clean their clothes-

“RAKSASA.” His father yelled with the raged-filled stare. This was an order.

Outside, the air was cool against the boy’s bare torso as he walked out with only a pair of bottoms. The pile of laundry was packed and hauled on his back as he made the journey to the river a mile away. The land was never kind to his feet, but he remembered to wrap them with the articles of clothing on his back. Might as well, if he was going to wash the clothes anyway.

The sun was still low in the sky when he reached the river. It was peaceful and private as the village slowly woke. He found a shrubbery of green at the edge to hideaway and do laundry through the morning. After he washed his father’s clothes and hung them out to dry, he tucked away his own small pile to wash later and walked out to look for food. No money or connections to the people nearby, he trailed down the river edge to find something worth salvaging. There were other kids across the river, older and younger than he, that made the trip out here for a meal to bring for their family. Did they have a family?

He was famished by the time he brought food back to his hideaway. A few steps away, he heard shuffling on the other side of the green. And another sound of breathing, gasping. A stranger had found the clothing line and he was not about to face the consequences for a thief taking his father’s belongings.

Instead of rushing into the clearing to confront the stranger, the young boy lowered himself onto the ground and quietly moved on all fours toward the shrubbery. His graceful movements go unnoticed by the mysterious stranger on the river edge, crawling closer and closer. His rage was fueled when the stranger walked up to the line and yanked something off of father’s line. The man’s back was to the boy, hopping one leg into the pair of bottoms after another. The thief reached for a shirt when the younger was mere steps away, waiting for the moment when the shirt covered the man’s head and…

Why was the thief covered in markings? That’s a question for another time.

Right now, he lunged at the thief.

 

The stranger yelped as the small figure wrapped himself from behind and began to scratch and beat him. Startled, the tall man’s knees buckled, unable to escape from the boy’s attack. Words were muffled in tongues that were foreign to both of them and the boy screamed as he tugged the shirt off. The thief’s arms never made it through the sleeves, so the child continued to tug and pull from behind until the shirt gathered at the throat. And just as he realized he was choking him, the man completely disappeared from underneath his grasp and the boy fell back onto the ground, in shock. 

With the shirt still in his fists, he looked around for the thief but no one was around. He was relieved that none of his father’s things were stolen, but the vanishing man would haunt him for years until they meet again.

 

* * *

 

 

It has been a few months since they married when one day, Magnus comes home to a very greedy Chairman Meow munching on the chaotic mess of cat food scattered all over the kitchen floor, with Alec’s clothes underneath the open bag. Cleaning the floor is a simple matter of magic, but he folds Alec’s clothes by hand where they fell. He feels the fabric with the tips of his fingers to study the warmth, whether he just went or if he traveled hours ago.

Magnus has just missed him.

 

It wasn’t long until he hears a familiar sound coming from the kitchen. He's always happy to see Alexander when he returns, but it's a sight to see when his time-traveling husband stands in the middle of the kitchen without a shirt on, out of breath and covered in scratch marks.

Alec folds his arms and tries hard not to smile. It's so good to see his Magnus, older and loving to him, not terrorizing him. “Guess where I just came from?”

Magnus doesn't have to think long before he is doubled over in laughter. His eyes begin to tear up in hysteria and one hand is held over his core. In between gasps, he tries to meet Alec’s gaze but each time he laughs harder until his husband breaks and joins him in his happiness. They narrow the gap between them and giggle into their kisses.

“Is that. How you. Formally. Introduce. Yourself?” Alec teases between pecks.

Magnus fucking lives for these kind of reunions. For centuries, he thought the thrill of anticipation was what he loved most about their bond, but the genuine elation and relief of seeing Alec after traveling is so… magical. It’s one thing to recall a distant memory, betrayed by what the mind chooses to surmise, but when Alec reappears, that’s when a memory is realized. It’s like a joke told hours ago and only now does it finally connect.

 

And hell, these moments are worth the laughter lines.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for the comments and kudos!
> 
> This serves as a part one of two.


	4. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus is 10, Alec is not

 

Is it possible to ever get tired of seeing Alexander naked?

Magnus must have seen him naked hundreds of times and somehow there was always something new and enticing to discover when it came to his body. It’s in constant motion, continuously changing. Newly drawn runes, bruising of every color of the spectrum, the occasional white hair… but that could also be Chairman Meow’s hair. Point is, naked Alexander was the best Alexander, especially when it had nothing to do with time travel.

He never told him this, but one of the most incredible things he secretly loved about his naked husband was the way he returned in the middle of the night. He would be gone for hours, sometimes days, and Magnus knew that it took every ounce of energy to get home and when he did… _oh_. Alec would carefully crawl into bed and line up every inch of his bare body against him from behind and after taking one giant breath, he poured everything he had into a tender kiss on the back of his neck. The "I’m home" kiss.

I’m home. I missed you and I’m home.

And when they woke up the next morning, Magnus would clear his schedule for the day to explore his body and mind. A “debriefing”. Alec reminisced about his latest visit and when it was about Magnus, that’s when the questions started flooding in, about this and that and what life was like at the time and the people he surrounded himself with. In the past, it was maddening when Alec refused to talk about anything pertaining to the future. Even when their lives were already intertwined, Magnus took what little he knew about their future and had to make sense of it all.

Now here he was, in the present, helping Alec make sense of their past. And the questions would keep coming until there was one that would give Magnus pause.

“Would you teach me how to speak Indonesian?”

 

* * *

 

 

“Nama saya,” Magnus says fluently.

“Nah-mah sah-yah,” Alec repeats.

“Faster. Nama saya.”

“Nama saya.”

The two sit, facing each other on Magnus’ couch, drinking glasses on hand. It isn't clear how teaching Bahasa 101 turned into a drinking game, but both are equally buzzed.

“Nama saya Magnus.”

“Nama saya Magnus.”

Magnus snorts. “Good, but Alexander just rolls off the tongue better.”

Alec glares at the other. “Loo-choo.”

“You don’t even know what lucu means yet.”

“Just drink.” One sip for Magnus for every jibe. And one for Alec if he mispronounces.

Magnus takes a swig and smacks his lips together. “Now, say it.”

“It.” Alec tries to maintain his composure, but breaks into a toothy grin.

“Alright, I think it’s time to get food in you.”

“Only if you’re food.”

“Okaaay, love. Let me just-” he takes the glass from Alec and stands up. They’ve been at this for over an hour and it's about time they take a break.

It isn’t a hard language to teach, but Alec is a fast learner and that’s… kind of worrisome. It’s not that he underestimates Alec’s comprehension level. Hell, the Lightwood family are so damn intelligent, it’s infuriating. In a few months, there is no doubt that he could be fluent, but it’s just that… Alec conversed with him in broken Bahasa _once_.

It’s almost comical, having lived through it all, that Magnus can predict when Alec might travel. Most of the time, it’s physical cues, like injuries, that foretell. But this moment here, two married fools teaching the other his first language, is when Magnus knew he's writing the script to his past. He remembers very little of their interaction, but still chooses his words carefully. Words to help Alec, like _makanan_ , _menolong_ , _pakaian_.

“Nama saya Alec.” Perfect.

 

* * *

 

 

Frankly, there could have been better ways to get a 10-year-old warlock’s attention that didn’t include attacking a demon with a walking stick, while wearing an elderly woman’s house dress.

The demon took the form of a nomad with whites in its eyes and had been stalking the young boy around the village, waiting for the opportune moment to perhaps kidnap or harm him. He shadowed the demon until the boy reached a small passage way, dusk casting dark shadows across the path, away from the busy marketplace. Whatever motives it may have had, Alec’s gut told him this was a hunt the moment he appeared. There was no way to lure the demon away from the boy without drawing attention to himself, thus here they were.

The young one heard a horrific screech from several yards behind him and turned to find Alec strangling the nomad from behind, one arm wrapped around its neck while he kicked the walking stick away. If that wasn’t alarming enough, the nomad’s face turned monstrous and suddenly, its tale whipped Alec out from underneath and knocked him off his feet. It took a quick glance at the man on the ground before turning its attention to the boy.

The young one stood frozen, unable to move from the tall grass he hid in. He crouched lower with each step the demon took, closer until-

“Hey!” Alec whacked the demon from the side with the dense walking stick.

It was mesmerizing to watch, as though he was a blur and yet in slow-motion. Each hit a perfect combination that brought the demon to its knees. With one last thwack across the face, Alec’s dress twirled as he spun around and landed the final blow, a hard kick to the jaw with his bare foot. The demon fell forward to the ground unconscious. Alec held his position, ready to attack if the demon woke, when the little boy joined him.

“Apa itu?”  _What is that?_ , he asked, pointing down.

Alec carefully said, “Demon,” hoping it would translate well.

The young one allowed the word to sink in. Alec noticed him nervously looking at the walking stick and dropped it from his grasp, raising his palms up to the other.

“Aman.”  _Safe_. Alec repeated the word until the expression on the boy’s face softened. “Let’s go.”

 

They walked away, letting the boy lead as the sky became a hazy lilac. To avoid being seen, Alec had to crawl, climb, and duck through certain areas while the young one covered his mouth to hide his giggles. When they finally found a quiet area to pause, Alec crouched down to meet the boy’s eye level.

“Nama saya Alec.”  _My name is Alec_.

“Aluk?”  _The law, from the Torajans?_

“Alec. Alexander.”

“Iskander.” The boy looked at Alec in awe.

“… Yes,” Alec replied, more like a question than a confirmation. He patted the back of his own head and looked around. “Are you close to home?”

The boy was silent.

“Pakaian? Makanan? Home-an?” Alec kept listing random words, watching the little one’s forehead scrunch in confusion. “No sini.”  _Not here_.

“…Apa?”  _What?_

“Me, not from here,” Alec gestured to their surroundings. “Iskander. From future.”

“Futur? Anda sakti?”  _The future? And your magic?_

“What?” Alec looked down as his runes as the boy gestured to his form. “These?”

He shook his head. The boy took his garment off and demonstrated as he held it up and dropped it to the ground. He then poked at Alec and pointed to the garment on the ground. “Sakti.” Of course, he remembered.

“Oh. Uh…” Alec misinterpreted it to mean the boy wanted him to vanish. “No  _sakti_ right now.”

It had been years since the young boy saw the vanishing man. Late at night, when his father couldn’t hurt him, he allowed his imagination to run wild. Was this man a creature or a god? A descendant of Sang Sapurba? If he was Iskander, why did he appear before him? The young boy sighed in defeat, the questions filling him up but couldn’t find release. With the evening fast approaching, he dressed and stoof in front of Alec, bringing himself to stand.

“I harus pulang. Papa…”  _I need to go home._

“Me too. I- Terima?” _Thank?_

“Sama-sama, Iskander.” Bringing his hand up to Alec, he moved his index finger as though he needed to whisper something to him. Between people of magic, he carried this secret about the vanishing man. It was only fair that he bestows a secret for Alec, too.

Alec didn’t need a translation to know what he was told. The last thing the boy saw before he disappeared was astonishment in Alec’s eyes, teary from the words whispered in his ear.

 

* * *

 

 

Magnus is well into his second night without his husband when he feels the bed shift. Ah,  _finally_!

Like clockwork, the first thing he feels is Alec’s palm, sliding across his torso. And then his bare chest against his back. And then his torso and groin. Their legs tangle into each other, rubbing his chilly toes into the sheets. Lastly, Alec’s forehead rests on the crown of his head. He takes a deep breath, inhaling the scent of Magnus’ hair.

Alec exhales.

Magnus waits, pausing in his slumber for the kiss he’s been craving for. The I’m home kiss.

He waits...

And waits...

Nothing.

 

Has Alec exhausted himself to just pass out? He doesn’t dare turn around, faithfully following his own rule that when Alec travels home at night, it can wait until the morning. Debriefing is sacred. It’s worth missing one kiss. Magnus decides to fall back asleep when he feels something on his back.

Alec, tracing letters in between his shoulder blades, each touch searing into his skin like a rune drawn by a stele. One letter after another, delicately drawn out, spelling out something he had long forgotten.

His name. Not Raksasa.

His **_real_** name.

This is what he’s been fighting for. All those years in between visits, the war, and the people he met and loved along the way. The moment he met present-day Alec and the struggles that followed. The petty fights and the prejudices that they worked hard to push past.

And time travel itself. All of that was worth it because of Alexander Lightwood.

Each stroke brings him closer to imploding, blue sparks escaping from his fingertips. Alec bends his head down and brings the kiss to the spot when he finishes, messy black hair tickling his neck.

 

Magnus thinks this is the most lethal thing Alec has ever done.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) I take full responsibility if the translations were incorrect.
> 
> 2) Malay folklore: According to Malay legends the ancestor of Malay king was Sang Sapurba a demigod descendant of Iskandar Dzulkarnain, a Middle Eastern legendary-historical figure usually associated with Alexander the Great.
> 
> 3) I hope you enjoyed part two ♥


	5. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec is 27, Magnus is not

 

 

Before he met Magnus Bane, time travel was as monotonous as being a shadowhunter, despite the capricious nature of it all. Alec could always count on his visits to end up in New York City, in or around the Institute, and if he was lucky, Izzy, Jace, maybe Max or Alec would be on the other side. Show up, deal with whatever crap happens, go home – just like a mission. The same city and the same people, again and again.

And then one day, he was no longer in the city. By the angel, he was no longer in this century. The first few months of it was terrifying, not knowing where or when he might end up, but it wasn’t NYC. After almost a year, it felt… thrilling. All the archive footage and photo albums didn't do them justice. Who knew that dating Magnus meant that he would get to see the world?

Like now, for instance. Walking barefoot on the bricked streets after rainfall, the smell of burning lanterns and earth, and church bells ringing in the distance. Alec had only seen churches as ancient, deteriorating. Here, in Madrid, they stand anew. It's a strange contradiction, but so is being in the presence of a young Magnus Bane.

A young Magnus laughing.

“The stupid vampire just kept talking and talking, with the biggest piece of broccoli stuck in his teeth, and all I could think was ‘if I punch him hard enough, maybe it would fall out.’ Before I knew it, I ended up here before I could act on it,” Alec explains.

“And now he’s just staring at a pile of clothes?” Magnus muses, smiling.

“He and everyone at the Jade.” Alec stops mid-stride. “Luke… By the angel, I hope he’s cleared the place before I come back.”

“Are you going?”

“Not now,” he reassures. “It’s just… the people.”

“Aren’t you used to it by now?” Magnus gestures for them to continue walking, using the bag of coins to point to the direction up ahead.

“There is a difference between being used to it and enjoying it. It’s-,” Alec feels the itchy cloak over his body,”-inconvenient.”

Magnus suddenly moves them to a dark nook across the street where a door is open ajar. He looks over at the shop, placing his hood atop his head, and turns back to Alec. “No se mueva.”  _Don’t move_. Before walking away, he reaches over Alec’s shoulders to bring the hood over his head.

Alec wants to follow, but obeys. His heart races when Magnus disappears past the door. Is that a client of his? Does this happen every night? He jumps when he hears raised voices from the people next door and recedes into the shadows. Moments later, Magnus reappears and rushes back to him, his cloak bunching up in front of him, and relief washes over Alec.

“Vamos.”  _Let’s go_.

 

Their cloaks flutter behind them in the night air, feet pattering against the ground as they move through street after street. Lanterns are put out, one by one, and the stillness of Madrid drowns into black. A dim glow catches Alec’s eye, a beacon, at the bridge in the distance. Alec wishes he could activate his night vision, but alas, no stele in… what year is it?

Magnus remains several paces ahead, his glamour dropped to reveal his cat eyes dilated. When they reach the mouth of the bridge, they stop just outside of the rim of the spotlight and rest.

“What was-,” Alec begins, but Magnus reaches into his bunched-up cloak and grabs a piece of bread to hold in front of Alec’s gaping mouth.

“Eat first,” Magnus shoves the bread in Alec’s mouth, “talk later.” His voice is just above a whisper. As he sits down, back against the wall of the bridge, he lets his cloak open with the gathering of food on his lap. Bread, some fruits he recognizes, nuts, and others he can’t place.

Oh _. That’s… so nice_ , Alec thinks. He didn't have to, but, damn, that was considerate. He stands there, above Magnus, in wonderment. “Couldn’t you have just… you know…” He twirls his hand around.

Magnus shakes his head, his cheeks puffy, stuffed with fruits and seeds. He motions Alec to sit beside him and feast. “Alejandro, my-,” as he pauses to swallow, he mimics Alec’s hand movements, “-isn’t for stealing or else the Silent Brothers would have my head.”

Oh, future Magnus would be cackling into his martini glass right now.

They eat in silence for a short while, listening to the river flow below them. It's so peaceful, Alec thinks he could easily be lulled to sleep up against this wall, if his body allows it. When they finish, all that is left on Magnus’ lap is a coin bag, more deflated than it looked before. Magnus picks it up and pours out the remaining money from the day.

“I was going to buy flowers.” Magnus sighs.

 _Shit_. Alec hates it when guilt fills him up like this. Of course, he always shows up out of nowhere and ruins whatever plans people have. Why is this visit any different?

“Oh, I- you-I’m sorry-”

“-It’s alright.”

“Who were the flowers for?”

“A friend.” Magnus mutters hurriedly, preparing to bring himself up to stand. “I should really be heading back to-”

Alec places a hand on the other’s shoulder and sits him back down. “Magnus.”

“What? She is. She’s a friend.” Magnus still refuses to make eye contact. “I don’t owe you an explanation.”

It’s true, but the words sting. The person sitting beside him looks like his Magnus, sounds like Magnus, but in this moment, he's so… young. His attitude mirrors what he's seen in Jace and Izzy when they were growing up. And he himself, especially when Magnus knew that Alec was acting defensive, rather than communicating his thoughts.

“I know. But you and I, we don’t lie to each other.”

Magnus looks at Alec, incredulous. “You choose certain words and dance around the truth. That’s lying.”

“So, choose your words carefully,” Alec bites back.

Slumped against the wall, Magnus tucks his chin in and crosses his arms. Alec takes this moment to look over at the physical state of Magnus Bane, as he mulls over in thought. His hair was shaved a short while ago, darker stubs of hair growing faster in some patches more than others. Hollowed cheeks, bags under his eyes, and a sharp jawline. Is he getting enough sleep? Enough to eat? Alec’s eyes wander to the hands and feet, poking out of the cloak, to reveal the wear and tear of life outside the walls of the church. Magnus looks exhausted. Or it could be a façade. After all, when Alec appeared, he found him sitting in the midst of a square, as a begger. Alec realizes that his worried thoughts must be written all over his face when Magnus shifts under his gaze.

Magnus opens his mouth to speak, then closes it. He does this a few times before asking, “Have you ever been in love, Alejandro?”

 _Fuck_. He’s young and naïve. So naïve, it hurts to see the hope in his eyes. Magnus Bane has yet to have his heart broken and Alec feels the weight of it.  

“Yes.”  _Even shadowhunters fall in love, Alec_.

Magnus’ face lights up. “What’s it like?”

Alec prays that in the next few minutes, he doesn’t travel. He could stay right here, spilling his heart out to the man who will eventually love him back, and hopes that the words don’t get caught in his throat. To this day, he envies how easy it is for Magnus to express how much he loves him. Wants him. A lifetime of experience to fill a library, compared to Alec’s scratched-out drafts, locked away in a desk drawer. Alec is still new to the concept of love and to be loved in return.  _What’s it like?_   

“It’s… it’s hard work. And… raw. It’s just constant communication. You know what they’re thinking and when you don’t, it drives you crazy.” The words tumble out of Alec lips, as though he could ramble on forever. “A single touch drives you wild. You lose your breath, but it- it’s as easy as breathing, you know? Love is… missing him, sometimes. Because he’s home. He’s my best friend.” He really loves Magnus Bane. 

All of him, not just the Magnus he meets in his present.

He loves all of him. This him, every him.

He’s never said all of this aloud and it was addicting to share it with Magnus. He could because Magnus knows. Somewhere in his memory, he remembers this night and knows.

Alec begins to laugh at the silliness of it all.

 

* * *

 

 

The younger Magnus thinks this is the most human he’s ever seen of the vanishing man. What is he now, if not a demigod or a creature? The man would look at him and speak as though he knows him, but this moment of openness brings him closer to a truth he's unaware of. “He?” Magnus inquires, taking in the flood of information.

“He.” Alec smiles.

“Is he like you? A vanishing man?”

“By the angel, no! He’s not a time traveler.”

“Oh.” Magnus lets the words sink in.  _Viajero del tiempo. Futur. Sakti._

“Was I helpful in answering your question?” Alec asks.

He was, but it wasn’t what Magnus expected. From the moment he saw her, it was love at first sight. He thought love was… magic. It was the feeling of sparks all over his body. He thought he could fly. Every time she spoke, he heard music. And when they touch, his heart leaped out of his chest. Hours feel like days and yet, with her, time flies. Her existence made him feel alive. But this man made it sound so… old.

“Love sounds terrifying,” Magnus blurts out loud.

Alec chuckles. “Yeah, it can be. Does she know? About you and,” he points at Magnus’ hands.

“No! She… no.” Magnus shoves his hands into his sleeves, the ends of it bunched into his fists.

“Are you ever going to?”

“No.” He replies too quickly. “Maybe.”

“Magnus.” Alec looks stern.

“One day, I promise.”

“You have to be honest up front.”

“Why?”

“Because one day, when you kiss that girl, you’re going to be so stupid happy, her flowers are gonna vanish into thin air. Are you just going to tell her then?”

Magnus is dumbstruck. This man knows him too well and it's starting to scare him. Of course, he hasn’t perfected his magic yet but he thought he could hide it. What if she sees his real eyes? What will he say if things begin to disappear because of him? What if she tells someone and he’s taken away? All because of who he is. He feels like he could cry.

Alec reaches out to Magnus, but the touch startles them both and Magnus quickly stands up. He paces back and forth, Alec watching anxiously as he rubs his fingers in frustration.

“I could die.” Magnus’ voice shakes.

Alec stands, leaning against the wall. “You’re not going to die.”

“But I could!” Magnus explodes. “I could love her and die because of it. Or I could hurt her.”

“You won’t.”

“And how do you know that? You seem to know a lot about me, so tell me!” Magnus turns to face Alec, standing on the opposite side of the bridge.

“I… I can’t tell you.”

“Liar.” Magnus backs into the wall behind him and hoists himself up to stand above the waters on the bridge.

Alec rushes halfway across the bridge. “Magnus, NO!”

“Stop!” The sudden proximity makes Magnus step back, inches from the edge.

Alec doesn’t move closer, his palms up in the air.

“How do you know who I am? How do you know what I can do? Did my father send you?” Each question brings Magnus closer to tears.

“Your father? No. Please, Mag- jus-,” Alec’s heart beats hard in his throat. After taking a deep breath, he calmly pleads, “We know each other in the future, okay? Please,  _please_ come back down.”

Magnus couldn’t see the tears develop in the man’s eyes, but he can hear it in his trembling voice that Alexander is telling the truth.  _What the hell am I doing?_  He becomes hyperaware of the wind against his skin, startled by the sound of waves crashing against the bridge. When he finally lowers himself and climbs back down, Alec closes the gap between them and sits them down on the ground. He brings Magnus into his chest and holds him as he sobs into his cloak.

“Don’t scare me like that ever again. If you do anything reckless like that and get yourself hurt, I’ll personally come back and kill you myself. You hear me?” Alec feels the other nod into his chest. Of course, that a promise the future Magnus will break over and over again.

 

After a while, the sobs turn into a few hitches of escaped tears. Once Magnus is calm, he removes himself to look at Alec and wipes his runny nose with his sleeve. “You can’t kill me if I’m alive in the future,” Magnus croaks.

Alec pulls a sad smile. “You don’t have to tell her.”

“Really?”

“Only when you’re ready. If it risks your safety or hers, you don’t have to tell her. It doesn’t make you any less of a warlock and it doesn’t make you love her any less than you do now.” Alec doesn’t realize that he's rubbing Magnus’ back.

“So, what do I do?” His red eyes disappear and the cat eyes reappear, faint but still aglow.

Alec chooses his words carefully. “Be there for her.”

Magnus leans against Alec, hugging his legs against his chest, drained from his episode. He started the day out optimistic and bright and now, the darkness of the night swallows him whole. The only thing pulling him out of it is the beacon of light that sits beside him.

“Your boyfriend is lucky to have you.”

 

* * *

 

 

Alec was so full of love and appreciation for the man Magnus will become. The man that he is now. What he always was. Perhaps the Magnus he would eventually fall in love with fought like hell because Alec needed to be here.

Because Alec was here.

It was never about seeing the world, it was about being there for Magnus.

 

“He knows.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more to go before the present.
> 
> Thanks again for the amazing response!


	6. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec is 26, Magnus is not

 

 

“No! NO!”

 

Magnus, snapping out of his dejected trance, is in disbelief of what he hears from across the house. _It couldn’t be…_

“Jace? Magnus! Fuck.” The shadowhunter groans and hisses through his teeth. “Take me back now!”

When Magnus arrives at the top of the stairs, he finds Alec, collapsing against the bottom of the staircase with blood on his knuckles and a nasty gash on his left thigh. The warlock flies down the steps, magically snapping his robe off to wrap it around Alec before reaching him, and immediately gets to work on the wound.

“I can’t be here. I jus- let me go. I need to get back.” Each word hisses through gritted teeth.

“Stop moving,” Magnus demands, keeping one hand firm on the other’s knee.

Alec grabs the hand that’s healing him. “Magnus, stop!”

“What has gotten into you?”

“Let the pain take me back! I need to go back!” Alec tries to push himself up from the steps, but falls forward on the floor.

Magnus tries to prop Alec back up, but the man weighs a ton. He settles on flipping him over on his back and gets back to work on his leg, snapping a pillow to support Alec’s head.

“At least let me stop the bleeding before you make a fucking mess out of this house.”

Alec continues to curse and plead as he looks at the high ceiling and rich surroundings. In any other circumstance, a visit to Magnus would be a godsend. He has only visited him once before and had looked forward to the next time they would meet again, but this… he doesn't want this. Not when he's so close to seeing Jace again.

 

Ten minutes ago, he was fighting off circle members, left and right. He could see blue swirls in the corner of his eye, disintegrating a gang of them into dust. One of Valentine’s shadowhunters jumped from above a ship container and tried to tackle Alec, but an arrow lands square in the chest before landing limp on impact. With the new moon on their side, Alec slid in the shadows and picked up the pace when he heard Magnus behind him. They heard Clary in the distance, trying to lure out Valentine, when they spotted Izzy behind her, signaling Alec and Magnus to head to the stern.

However, on the way to the back of the boat, a werewolf was spotted severely injured and although it did its best to muffle the pain, it couldn’t hold in a pained growl. Magnus leapt to its aid before thinking and seconds later, the glamour broke and they were surrounded by more seraph blades. _Crap_. Sixteen, maybe twenty of them, against Alexander Lightwood and the High Warlock of Brooklyn. They could handle them, right? His focus was zoned in on the man in front of him when he saw a familiar blond head of hair in the distance.

Jace.

It had to be Jace. His back was to the trap surrounding them, talking to someone he couldn’t see beyond Jace. Alec’s focus halted for a split second to register that he could actually feel his parabatai rune strengthen and reveled in the bliss. He’s right there. _Finally_.

A wave of a blade motioned the men to attack. Alec was too late to reach for an arrow when he heard his bow drop to the ground, his arms the first to disappear. _Oh no_. He saw light from a blade aiming for his torso. Alec prepared to kick, but his lungs gave out and the last thing he remembered was white-hot pain from the crown of his head down to his toes.

And then it was quiet.

His rune receded to a low pulse.

He was so close.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Magnus feels the spine of a book against his thigh and the paper between his fingers, but his eyes never leave Alexander. After knocking him out, Magnus finished sealing up the deep gash on his leg and moved him to the library upstairs. Since then, Magnus rests him down on an armchair by the fireplace and waits until Alec regains consciousness.

 

 _Fifteen years_ , Magnus thinks. _It’s been fifteen years and I get stuck with this one._

 

This is the longest he's gone without a visit from the time traveler. He thinks it's long enough to forget the sound of his voice, but not long enough to still distinguish between older Alec and young Alec. With older Alec, there was more to him. More runes, more scars, more facial hair. His eyes had more life to them. His smile was brighter. And he was more talkative. Magnus looks over at the Alec sitting beside him and wonders if he should feel guilty for not wanting him here. Because he should be elated to see him. Magnus was always happy to see him because Alec was too.

Now he’s here and he hates it. He wants to go back.

That’s young Alec. What is going on in his young life that begs the universe to bring him back? He always looked exhausted, stressed. The way he talked was staccato, like a sharp knife. He seemed so self-conscious and agitated whenever he dropped in. There is a slightly older Alec that has his own exhaustion period, but he exuds a certain kind of peace in his weariness. But this… Magnus has never seen him so desperate.

No longer covered in blood and sweat, Magnus looks over at the unconscious man and thinks this is the youngest Alexander has ever looked. In his slumber, the furrowed brow smooths over to frame his beautiful eyes. His head is angled upwards, leaving the glow of the fireplace to accentuate his jawline. He's tall, yet so small. His hands and feet so calloused, but have yet to experience the years ahead of him.

The centuries behind him. Magnus curses himself every time his mind goes there.

Before he punishes himself further, Alec stirs in his chair. The shadowhunter pinches the bridge of his nose and squeezes his eyes before opening them.

“Magnus,” he spits out, his fury building in his chest, “How long was I out?”

“Ten minutes, darling.” His reply is light, but Magnus projects his annoyance by snapping his pocket watch with force.

Alec drops his head into his hands. “Great. That’s just fucking great.”

“What the hell is going on?”

“I can’t-”

“-tell you? I wouldn’t understand? I’m not allowed to know?” Magnus gets up in a huff.

Alec’s mouth opens, but the words can’t escape his lips. It’s like he can see the filter run through him, an ugly juxtaposition of words he chooses to say and the truth written all over his face. Sometimes, he just wants to slap the truth out of Alec. Magnus prances towards the fireplace and places his book on the shelf above it. When he turns around, Alec is still hunched over, elbows propped up on his knees, eyes closed.

What is going on in that mind of his? He’s here and at the same time, he’s miles away.

“You know, Alexander, I could easily reach into your mind and find out the truth for myself.” Magnus conjures magic into his palm, taunting Alec with a smirk. “It would save me the trouble from wasting precious time with your lies. I’ve never done that with you, though. Do you care to know why, darling?”

Alec is now sitting up straight, hanging on every word.

“Because you asked me not to. Or I imagine you will someday, when you’re older. You also told me that I can’t tell you the exact date and year, unless it’s absolutely necessary. And guess what? You’re in London. It’s November 2nd, 1882. I want you to remember that because it’s been almost fifteen years since the last time I saw you.”

“I don’t have to listen to this!” Alec stands up, stumbling with his healing leg.

“Why? Does it hurt to hear about my past? Your future? Do you think I want to know these things about you in the future? About me in the future? Just tell me why you’re so desperate to leave and I’ll stop.”

Alec approaches Magnus, a challenging look on his face. “My parabatai rune is- it’s throbbing. Okay? And Jace… he’s in danger and I’m here instead of there. That look on your face means you understand what I’m talking about. It’s 1882? That means you’ve dealt with enough shadowhunters to know that parabatai bonds are life-threatening. For all I know, Jace is being tortured and I…,” Alec lets the word hang out there for Magnus.

The burning pain, combined with the ache in his leg, is as much as Alec could take before tearing away from Magnus’ gaze. He sits back down, this time on Magnus’ armchair.

The warlock remains frozen where he stands. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you fighting this? Why do you need to know?”

 _Where the hell do I begin?_ , Magnus thinks. Right now, Camille is somewhere in Moscow with a mundane and as much as he wants to move on, he couldn’t bring himself to leave her home. She will probably stay with that pitiful mundane until the end of his life, just like she did with the werewolf before. The same with that Herondale and his mundane wife. Choosing to be with mortals is curse, don’t they know that? Heartbreak after heartbreak, to live on when others couldn’t. Or they leave. When he met Camille, immortality didn’t feel like a curse. With her, he didn’t feel the underlying dread he felt when Alec was around.

“You told me once that time travel is like… gravity; Big events pull you in. I need to know because instead of being in your present, you’re here with me. Me, instead of your parabatai. Every damn time you appear, I don’t know how to feel about that. Should I feel… honored? Happy? Right now, it doesn’t feel great. I have felt everything you could possibly imagine in your short, mortal life. Honestly? I feel sorry for myself. Because of you and me, this is what it’s all about, right? You visit me because you… you love me, right?

 

* * *

 

 

 

Alec’s mouth goes completely dry.

_You love me, right?_

Well, shit. It didn’t even cross his mind that love could make him travel and yet, could it really be that simple? He thought his ability was unpredictable by default, but perhaps his heart had a say.

There was a time when he believed that love was not meant for Alexander Gideon Lightwood:  a gay, time-traveling shadowhunter. The triple threat. He thought he would float through time, maybe marry a woman who could tolerate his absence, and hoped that at least Jace would still stand by his side as his parabatai.

And then he met Magnus Bane.

A man who was so… understanding. And patient. He didn’t have to just tolerate his time traveling because he’d been on the other side of it. Magnus has known him all his life and that’s a fate Alec tried to fight, again and again. Alec resisted the idea at first, accepting that his family’s honor should come first and foremost before his own happiness. He would have been content in having Magnus as an ally, a friend. It would at least explain how he would someday visit Magnus in the distant past. That is, until the stupid warlock decided to walk in on his wedding.

 _Him_ , his heart said.

But… was this love? Was it too soon to be in love? After their first kiss, a few wonderful dates, and a visit to Peru, how could he have foreseen that he’d be falling in love? How could he have time for love when there’s a war coming and Jace still missing. They researched every lead, turned over every rock, and trained until they dropped until they finally found themselves on Morning Star. Alec thought that love could wait. It was all waiting for him in the future, anyways. Couldn’t it have waited one more day? Or at least five more minutes?

Because now he's sitting in front of Magnus in 1882 and he doesn’t know what to say. Alec doesn’t have to say a thing because the truth is written all over his face. Alec doesn’t have to say the words because his visit and every visit before that is a big, fat _yes_.

“Alexander, is that a yes?” Magnus asks, unsure.

Alec looks down.

“And in the future, do I love you too?”

If Alec wasn’t sure of his own feelings, how could he know of Magnus’. “I… I don’t know.”

“You would think it would be easy, you know? After all these years, it would make sense for me to fall in love with you, Alexander. But, I don’t. I don’t because it’s hard. I can’t because you always leave me. You’re never here and I learned how to be alone in your absence. And when you do appear again, I am reminded that I am immortal because I am alive in your present. Is it easier to love you when we meet in your present? Because honestly, I shouldn’t want that. A shadowhunter who disappears? Who would want that??”

Stunned, Alec stands up and towers over Magnus. _How dare he_.

“It’s not like I have a choice. I’m not going to apologize for who I am.” Alec tries to keep his voice level.

“I never had a choice.” Magnus turns towards the fireplace and composes himself before facing Alec again. “Did you ever think about your influence on others when you time travel? What your presence can change about someone? Because fifteen years is plenty of time for this old man to think and I realized that everything that I am right now is because of you.

“Think about it. I take it that you know that I am highly skilled in memory. Who’s had to wipe memories and cleanse sight every time a time traveler appeared? Who learned the magic of healing because a shadowhunter couldn’t stop traveling, even in the midst of a battle? Is the Portal still present in the future? I can’t imagine who inspired Henry Branwell to invent such a revolutionary teleportation device. And who… who was the man on the bridge in Madrid who told me about a man he was in love with and held me when I scared of who I was?”

Magnus is now inches away from Alec’s face, their bodies a hairline apart.

Alec is the first to rest his forehead on the other’s. Magnus doesn’t flinch under his touch when Alec brings a hand to his neck, his skin tingling under his fingertips.

Their noses barely brush against each other when Alec whispers, “I can’t stay.”

Before he could reply, Magnus hears the robe fall to the floor. Gone.

 

“I know.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) I've never read the books, so apologies if names or events are off.
> 
> 2) It goes without saying, but thanks again for the generous response!


	7. And One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus is old, Alec is not

 

 

Ten years before they meet, Alec and Magnus each made a perilous decision. Both had a secret that they were willing to bury deep and have locked away to protect the people they love.

Alec came to terms that he would rather face death than be outed as gay.

Magnus came to terms that he would rather die than have Valentine discover what Alec could do.

After Jocelyn’s second visit with Clary, it was clear that the girl’s memories were a danger to their safety and his if he were to ever be captured by the Circle. By feeding her memories to a memory demon, he could protect them for a short while until the Fairchilds returned again.

 

“You don’t even know if Alec is alive yet.” Catarina took a sip of her coffee and joined Magnus on his couch.

“Nevertheless, I don’t want to risk it.”

“Magnus, this is too dangerous. Do you even know what you’re asking me to do?”

Memory spells were difficult to perform when it’s self-induced, which was why it should never be done alone. Magnus tried it once and was scolded by Ragnor when he found him passed out on the floor in exhaustion days later. This time, Magnus enlisted the only other warlock he could trust to watch him.

Catarina refused, but agreed to hear him out.

“This isn’t like with Camille,” he reassured.

“No, this is far more critical than that. We’re talking about your life! This boy has been a part of your life for, hell knows however long, and you’re about to rip yourself apart for him. Your lives are too intertwined.” Catarina placed her mug on a side table and took Magnus’ hand into hers. “Please don’t do this.”

Magnus squeezed her hand. “What do you suppose I do? Even if Alec isn’t alive right now, the idea of a time-traveling nephilim would drive Valentine to massacre more people until he can get his hands on that kind of power. And if Alec is alive, my knowledge of him puts him in even more danger because we haven’t met.”

“Have you tried seeking him out?”

He shook his head, smirking. “I may be a downworlder, but I’m not suicidal.”

“Alright, fine.” Catarina removed her hand and crossed her arms against her chest. “I just wanted to be sure.”

“About what?”

“That this isn’t just about you missing him.”

 

 

He always missed Alec. Every day, every minute. Even when his visits were mere months apart, he missed him.

_It’s been 18 months, Alexander. Cuatro meses, Alejandro. Tiga puluh tiga bulan._

Magnus believed that, having been without him for fifteen years, he could brave anything. Since that night in 1882, time went by achingly measured, each November 2nd a reminder that another year has gone without Alexander. Like church bells in his head. He understood why the time traveler hated learning about dates. What a spoiled life to have had him in his life and never question how his absence would fill the void.

 

The first fifteen years were bearable. Twenty, then thirty. Still, no Alec. He finally left London and traveled before settling in New York City. It was a new kind of distraction for the immortal to get his hands on.

 

Forty. Speakeasies, drinking, dancing. Oh, how he would have loved for Alec to see that.

Alec had an American accent… right? _I miss the sound of your voice._

 

Over fifty years later and… nothing. The Depression came and gone… and nothing.

Alec still loved him… didn’t he?

 

Sixty years. _At least, let him appear once to let me know that he’s okay. Please… just give me that._ If Magnus couldn’t see that he was alright, was everything alright in the future?

Was Alexander alright? Was Magnus?

 

Seventy. Did Magnus in the future convince him to stop traveling? Was that even a probability?

At least he had Raphael to look after.

 

Eighty. Maybe Alec took his words to heart. Maybe saying he didn’t love him was the only way to prevent him from visiting again. Magnus realized here that the church bells stop playing and all that was left was silence and doubt.

 

Ninety.

 

One hundred.

 

A fucking century gone, Alexander. _Are you even alive?_

Better off dead than have him worry about what the Circle has been doing to the downworlders. To his kind. Better off him visiting where it was more luxe or tropical, not to Pandemonium or his lair with his fellow warlocks.

Better off dead than to appear in the presence of Valentine Morgenstern.

And for that, Magnus was willing to finally let him go.

 

 

“The shadowhunter is worth it, isn’t he? You must really love him enough to do this to yourself.”

 _Love_. Her words brought the High Warlock out of his thoughts. Magnus stared at her, blank, unsure how to respond.

Of course, he loved Alexander. It’s all he had left.

Whether or not he will be seeing the time traveling shadowhunter again, Magnus couldn’t shake the concept that there was a “them” somewhere in the future. Wasn’t that the point of their last conversation? _You visit me because you… you love me, right?_ After all these years, decades, and centuries between them, the novel idea of existing in his present, despite the obstacles, was all waiting for him.

Because loving the memories was easy. Loving the person was the hard part.

“Amor verus numquam moritur.”

Catarina’s face softened. “He won’t even know who you are.”

“As long as he’s alive, that’s enough for me.”

She sighed and got up from the couch. “Okay. I am only agreeing to help if you agree that I cast the spell and you do as I say.”

Magnus stood up to kiss her cheek. “Thank you,” he whispered.

 

* * *

 

 

“Drink.” Catarina returned a day later, with a notebook and flask at hand. As soon as Magnus opened the door, she shoved the flask into his hands.

He side-eyed her, suspiciously smelling the mouth of the flask. “Mm, no.”

“Magnus.”

“That’s ‘Sir High Warlock’-”

“-As if. Now, go lie down and drink that.”

Magnus scrunched his nose. “I don’t know what’s in this.”

“That’s the point. The less you know, the better,” she dictated with her hospital voice. “Now, drink. You agreed to do as I say.”

“Are we in a rush? The removal of my memories is not a quick fix, my dear.”

“And potions work best when they’re fresh.” Catarina thumbed through her notebook to find the encrypted spell. She looked up and pointed at Magnus with her notebook. “Drink.”

“… You’re being evasive.”

“And you are stalling! Do you want these memories or not?”

“I…” The words failed to escape his lips. Yesterday, he was so sure of what needed to be done. As long as Valentine was alive, Alexander was in danger. To protect the future of the shadow world, the entire world, Magnus knew this needed to be done. It had to be done. It has to. Even if it meant that the spine of his book was going to be ripped off and all Magnus would be is scattered pages.

Catarina slowly walked up to Magnus and tried to meet his gaze. “Hey,” she said softly. “What is it?”

His voice was small and hushed. “I’m scared.”

“Magnus,” she said, relieved, “sé valiente.” _Be brave_.

Her tone caught his attention. “How do you know that this will work?”

She placed her hand over his, still holding the flask. “This. This is how. Everything will be fine.”

 _Everything will be fine_ , he repeated to himself, as he brought the potion to his lips. The last thing he remembered was white light, followed up by the horrible aftertaste of nectarines and a hint of ash.

 

 _Goodbye, Alexander_.

 

* * *

 

 

“Come with me, Clary. My lair can offer you protection no shadowhunter ever could.” Magnus feels the energy of the room shift and his nerves gets the best of him. It's obvious that the shadowhunters don't notice.

“No!” Clary steps away from his extended hand. “No, I’m not going anywhere with you.”

“Don’t be a fool. Your mother would want you to live.” The memories of Jocelyn by her daughter’s side each visit was a testament that if anyone ought to be trusted in protecting Clary, it should be him.

“Then help me get my memories back from whatever demon you gave them to.”

Magnus is now pleading. “Valentine is hunting you, too. And every moment we’re outside my lair’s protection, is a moment Valentine gets closer to finding us.” He's not going to let over a decade’s work of protection and spells be lost by her stubbornness. The portal hangs open behind him, like a neon sign pointing to him. _Last chance to live_.

“Come with me.” Aggravated by the way the dumb blond shook his head, Magnus hisses, “I won’t offer again.”

Clary stands her ground. “No. No, I won’t hide from my problems and neither should you.”

Magnus purses his lips, fed up. He is not hiding from his problems; he is-

“Look out!”

An arrow cuts through the air and strikes the assassin dead.

The proximity of the body too close and had there not been an arrow, Magnus might have been captured or killed. Clary, too.

He whips his head around to find the person responsible and when his eyes land on the lean man, holding a bow,… _oh_. Magnus is unable to move, his body charged and overreacting. Nerves jolt in his system, his heart pounding. It’s as though his body's sending messages every which way, all but to his brain. His mind refuses to process one coherent thought, like a jammed signal.

His eyes follow the shadowhunter, watching as he bent down to check the assassin’s pulse. The lights in the rave are ghastly, but there's something about how it hits the man’s profile the right way. It leaves a verve of excitement pulsating through his spine, sparks escaping his fingertips. Why is his body reacting this way?

“Who are you?”  
  


 

“Cats eyes. It’d be a nice edition to my collection.” Before he could advance, the circle member yelps, keeling over.

Taking advantage of the surprise attack, Magnus conjures the final blow and blasts the other unconscious. It is only when he sees the arrow on the leg that the warlock hears footsteps behind him.

“Well done,” the shadowhunter quips.

“More like medium-rare.”

The man saves him twice in one night. Is this why every single time his eyes fall on the raven-haired shadowhunter, his body goes haywire? Every inch of Magnus is magnetized and he's going to find out why.

“I’m Magnus. I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced.”

The other grins and replies, “Alec.”

 _Alec_. The sound of his name sends a wave of warmth and magic through him.

 _Alec_. The feeling of panic and worry suddenly melts away.

 _Alec_. The church bells ring in his head. Magnus’ body begins to sway, unconsciously.

“Uh… We shou- we should, you know, uh, probably get… you know,” Alec stutters.

Catarina, Ragnor, and Raphael would pay exuberant treasures to see the many failed attempts of flattering Alexander Lightwood that night. The desperation and attraction was like witnessing the exotic birds they’ve seen in South America, fluffing their bright feathers and prancing around their potential mates. It was excessive, yet impossible to look away.  
  


The night feels like an eternity, but to hell with it. If a memory demon is what they want, he’ll get them their memory demon. The shadowhunters have been warned on the dangers of summoning this demon and here they all are, helping Clary retrieve her memories together.

Magnus’ mind is so busy preparing for the summon that he isn’t aware of his body reacting to the proximity of Alec next to him. Did Alec choose to stand next to him or did he? Magnus extends his hand to his right, waiting for the first link to form. One touch jolts through the persons connected and the high warlock could not wait for the link with Alec to ease some nerves that's been pulsating through him all night.

But when their hands touch…

 

 _ **Nama saya Alec**_.

 

Flash after flash of memories come flooding back to his mind, little details and big moments.

Things he remembers in order, out of order.

Visions that has nothing to do with Alec and everything to do with himself.

Conversations and visits.

Runes.

Hazel eyes.

Robes.

 

_**I can't stay.** _

 

Ragnor and Raphael.

Catarina.

 ** _Drink_** , Catarina demanded.

The smell of the potion lingered.

 

Magnus feels everything.

 

His memories continues to unravel as Magnus looks over at Alec. His Alexander. His dark eyes widen at the realization his body has known all along: Alec's alive! He’s here! Alexander is real, in the flesh, IN CLOTHES, holding his hand, and very much present.

This is it! This is present day.

 

And there’s a future Magnus out there that's proud that he was strong enough to make it through.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *fist pump* We made it to the present! These idiots made it to the present!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and the reception along the way. I couldn't have done it without [Dea](anakinskvwalkcr.tumblr.com) and [Iz](downwrlder.tumblr.com). I owe them so much <3
> 
> I'm taking the rest of the month off before starting A Matter of Time. Expect something in the series by mid-late August. Until then, think about the number of things that could happen between Magnus, who has waited THIS LONG to meet the time traveler in the present, and Alec, the closeted shadowhunter who has NO IDEA how happy his future could be if he wasn't so... Alec. It will be 80% in canon, with just a bit of traveling here and there, visits to young Jace and Izzy, an appearance of young Alec in the present, and eventually... Lightwood-Bane family?
> 
> Timeline's still all over the place, but isn't that the point of this AU?
> 
> ____
> 
>  
> 
> _Oh, I can't wait to see you again,_  
>  _It's only **a matter of time**_


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